I keep

How can I look at you
When I'm not allowed
To speak
So many hrs
I waited
For her to go away
So many nightmares
So many times
I wanted to reach out
But you told me you had
Your real love without a doubt
So yeah
I wanted to scream and shout
But your happiness
Means everything
I know your struggle
I've witnessed your hustle
I feel your pain
And I knew I was causing it
So I let you go

I can't stop loving
When it was never my
Choice to love
What we have is involuntary
Which is why the pain
Is so stationary
The reason why the questions
Never end
Is because
We played ourselves
Trying to be just friends
Held on to that thought
Becasuse friends last forever right?
Even you been through a best friend fight
You picked up the pieces
Continued the frienship
Our ship is bigger then
Facts
But I don't know what to do with it

What do you feel when you?
Encounter me
What do you see?
Do you feel that energy?

I've tried
But I've failed
So I'll write
Hoping
That my words
Come out
Right

We need to talk

I know
What it is
But that don't mean
Its right
I'm here
I feel
I know
Im sorry
I wish it were different
It hurts to watch
It hurts to know
I love you
I miss us
I know your stuggle
I wish i could help
But i know I
Will make it worst
Ive been gifted
I wanna share
I wish I could tell you
Everything
You have part of me
I can never get back
Life is to short
So Im ok with that
Just know I always got your back

My Truth

Just a glimpse is all I
Ever need
It last me a lifetime
I heard your laughter
From a distance
Its crazy cause the love
Remains
My heart still goes insane
But I've learned how to keep it
Contained
I think about
The snowfall
And how we talked about
How we would never fall
Days when just laid
And how we laugh so
Hard tears would
Race down
Doubled over in pain
From so much funny

But the truth is it was a test
Yeah you fail
But that was a chance I was willing to take
Because real love cant truly be demolished
In one or two dates
Especially with someone whom'
I cant necessarily relate too
She was a big part of my past
But she was never you
And I never wanted her too be
So yeah I fucked up maybe
Even took it too far
I apologize for that
And understand your decision
I respect you position
I realize how you move
And the type of world you live in
Who is to blame for love loss
I cant answer that
Cause my love never left
Just got tucked somewhere
In the back of my temple
Down close by my spine
But everytime we do this
It resurfaces
I dont think you get how my love
Works so many parts of me
You didn't get to see
So many part of me are for
Your eyes only

So yeah you won
And you continue to
Win
I guess Ill see you next
Lifetime
831
Maybe we will try again

But Love

Sometimes just

Breathing the same air

Knowing that your there

Trying so hard not to care

I feel uneasy

But I am trying to take it

I know its not your

Words

Bridging

This unwanted gap

Am aware

Because love

Does exist 

It lingers in a word

A thought

One moment

Most times that is all we got

So I just own it

I keep my blisses

Locked up with 

The memory of a love

I once had

One so pure that it was too

Sweet

It wasnt balanced

So 

Bitter

Happened

But just before

Love was shown to me

So blinding

But it taste like the first

Time I had ice cream

I scream inside

Becasue

I know whats real

But it was to real to reavle

Too much bliss

One cant handle 

But love