Late Nights

Been so long
But it's a late one
Can't sleep even though
Today was a great one
Late night memories
Creep on me as the new hour arrives
11:00
12:00
1:00
2:45

Can I be Free

In attempts to love
I too fall short
How did I even get back here
UGH
I frustrate myself
Because every move I make
Is also a decision
So what have I decided
I know I made my mind up a long time ago
But cant I change it
Challenges never to seem to stray for me
They just inflate
And deflate whatever my plans were
Presenting me with more then I bargained for
And I love a good bargin
But at what cost
I mean is it truly worth
What is worth
The ego is a hard thing to strip
Which is a trip on its on
Something that needs to
Volunteered
But thats like asking a deer not to get stuck in headlight
Outta mind Outta sight
But the vibrations remain
The pull is erotic
So what is a Queen/Princess
To do
But live carfully
Because living carefree
Wont be excepted fully
Luckily I live freely inwardly

Groovy

A groove of  royalty
Just wondering if its for me
Each song specifically selected
So much I am detecting
Trying no to read beyond the words
But the melodies take me
I think I found my favorite
List to play
But what does this say
Mixed signals
But are they direct
Music is what it is
But its also a way for
One to communicate with another

A smile that cant be erased
But cant be embraced
So I just Groove

Abstract

Watching storage war
But my mind is racing
Got damn forreal
I had a good weekend
Maybe I was too fucked up
To find out what I was seeking
Asking questions
That are rhetorical
That's all I remember
Oh and the softeness
Of an embrace that
Felt like September
A force that can compare
But I've never felt more complete
A room full of love and It's mostly
For me
All the pieces of my being
No one will ever see what I'm seeing
Abstract
And I'm ok with that

Jam Session 2

Start 5:30am
-Id rather Go Blind
-It Kills Me
-So Amazing
-Spend my life
-We cant be Friends
-Nothing In this world
-My First Love
-My Little Secret
-Who Can I Run too
-They Dont Know
-Bad Habits
-Lotus Flower Bomb
-Dont Forget about Us
-End of the Road
-Angel (Amanda Perez)
-Never let You Go
-Youuuuuuuuuuu
-Lets Chill
-If I Was a Bird
-Crusin (D'Angelo)
-Butterflies(MJ)
-SuperStar
-Cater2U
-Dance For you
-All The Way Home
-Love and War
-Still in Love
-Torn
-Fumbled (first time listening) I like
-Beautiful
-Fool For You
End 9:32am

.....

Trying to find away
To stray from feelings
That seem to over flow
Sensibility sensory nerves have been
Disturbed
From a place of solace dormantcy
Not looking for diplomacy
Just trying to find a balance
When an abundance
 Of attachment has been re attached
Like a switch that never works
Until someone else flicks it

Mind trying to come up with possibilities
Putting pieces together where they dont fit
But its still a beautiful picture
Creating my own reality in my head
Because I know I can give it life there
Careful with my words because I dont want them
Misconstrued
Its hard to be understood
But at least I am heard

Grateful

For conversation
For closure
For a positivity
For clear air
For you
For growth
For smiling
For breathing
For understanding
For agreeing to dis
For memories
For pain
For lust
For the butterflies to flutter
For a space
For a place
For second changes
So whats next

Question

I have so many
Hopefully
One day I have time
To ask
It's never enough
Just a lil more

Jam Session

-Body and Soul
-Caught In The Rapture
- No one In the World
-I Apologize
-Something In My Heart
-Ribbon in the Sky
-Cant wait to be Love
-I Cant Stop loving you
-Stars
-Far Away
-It Kills Me
-Ex-Factor
-Next Lifetime
-Beauty
-All The Things
-Pretty Brown Eyes
-Can We Talk

With Much Hesitation

Listen close 

While I speak into the mic

Let me comfort you with

My words of wisdom

I will speak softly to you

With no hesitation

Im not here to judge but I

Can be your secret location

Lay your burdens on me

I promise not to throw it 

In your face

I just wanna embrace

Give you a small piece of peace

Cause I know what one truly seeks

Sit back and relax

Let my words take you for a ride

Penetrate your mind

I know you feel me

Creeping up your spine

Ill speak slow 

I will take my time

Give you time to process 

All of me

Give you a chance to see

Who I have grown into

So you can see how much of a reflection

I am of thee

Still sweeter then a honey bee

Still sting too 

Capable of loving three

See I hold within me so many

Possibilites

I can feel the frustration

Exuberating from your pores

Not saying your not happy but 

I can see in your eyes you need more

I just wanna be your ear 

I just wanna be near

I just wanna be clear

That I am indeed here

Maybe thats too much

Maybe some subjects are to touchy

Maybe

Thinking Bubble

Number hasn't changed
Hours of operation still the same
Feels like I am reaching
And I know I am
What would be said
Are we mature enough to hold a real conversation
This will always be contemplated 

Old Friends

No contact
No one really knows me
Friends are so distant
They become family
Or just a memory
Sometimes I just want
A phone call
Just to say hey how are you
Or nothing at all
I wanna reminisce on my past
But its hard to laugh
When no one is around
That can remember the time
Or sound
Late nights Early Mornings
Never enough time
Living in a bubble meant for two
Too caught up
Friends no longer
Or was it all a cover up
Because from day one I knew what
Was up
I knew I would be hurt
But I was will to take that
Risk
To loose a friend
To gain a Mrs
But that back fired too
Because rebounds are not the best way to get the ball in...
So unforgettably mistaken
Not enough time was taken
Too much faking on both ends
Now as much as I want to
I know you cant be my friend 

Almost

How to wear my hair

What outfit to where

What scent should I put on

Do I look fat

Should I smile

Dont look to interested

Dont light up like a Christmas tree

No eye contact

These are the stuggles

Of loving thee

Almost feel out my chair when I heard a knock

Almost asked

Almost got upset when I seen time dwindling 

Almost stayed later in hopes to get my fix

Almost called by accident

Almost emailed 

Almost cried

But I made it threw

Because I know I will have 

Another opportunity 

To bask

A better opportunity 

To stalk

More space to be consumed in

I feel trouble coming 

But I will attempt to contain myself

White Flag

So many times I've tried
Literally died on the inside
Trying to reach
And understand
The ice block for a shoulder
Days got longer
Everything got older
I hold on to the good times
Because there were way more of them
Then bad never were you the guy
But actions have you wondering why
Lies no but omitting the truth I must say
Letting bygones be bygones and get past
Human mistakes
Perfection doesn't look good on me
So I am sorry that I couldn't be

5 years I have waited on this testimony
Cause for me to think love didn't exist
In the mist would be phoney
What I feel is not invalid
So prominent
Its beyond evident
Without evidence
Its everything but nothing
Its necessary
Without you love cant exist
And I knew dating someone like you
I was gonna take a risk
Just didn't expect it to be so
Brisk
No regrets
I would live every moment again
If I could
And I wouldn't change a thing
Pure
Real
Untouched
Clearly Unbreakable
LOVE 831