Can I be Free

In attempts to love
I too fall short
How did I even get back here
UGH
I frustrate myself
Because every move I make
Is also a decision
So what have I decided
I know I made my mind up a long time ago
But cant I change it
Challenges never to seem to stray for me
They just inflate
And deflate whatever my plans were
Presenting me with more then I bargained for
And I love a good bargin
But at what cost
I mean is it truly worth
What is worth
The ego is a hard thing to strip
Which is a trip on its on
Something that needs to
Volunteered
But thats like asking a deer not to get stuck in headlight
Outta mind Outta sight
But the vibrations remain
The pull is erotic
So what is a Queen/Princess
To do
But live carfully
Because living carefree
Wont be excepted fully
Luckily I live freely inwardly